The Journey to Happiness Begins Now
Rejuvenan Provider Mike Polich, MS, MBA, FNP-BC
“The journey to true happiness and to happiness now is not a journey of physical distance or time; it is one of personal “self-recovery,” where we remember and reconnect consciously to an inner potential for joy — a paradise lost — waiting to be found.” — Robert Holden
We all go through multiple forms of “tunnels” throughout our lives. We may travel through a short tunnel, and although momentarily challenging, it may add resilience and novelty to the journey of life. However, in other circumstances we find ourselves in the form of a long, narrow tunnel from grief, stress or burnout. Even if there is a light at the end of a tunnel, there may be enough of a curve to constrict your initial outlook on a single idea, goal, or challenge that makes you question how much effort you need to dedicate to reach the light.
On the face of it, we naturally ask ourselves: When will we be able to experience happiness and contentment in our life? What would it feel like to attain the happiness you desire? When are we going to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keep it as a permanent experience? How will we know when happiness is achieved?
The answer to all those questions is a simple one, but not necessarily a comforting one: In fact, we should not necessarily focus on reaching that light at the end of the tunnel, either.
Why? Robert Holden’s quote holds true, that true happiness lies in its journey, not the destination. So, instead of searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, we might as well shift our perspective to enjoy the process of going through the tunnel itself. In other words, instead of anticipating emotions of happiness at the end of the tunnel, we need to put light IN the actual tunnel to reassure we are on a furthering path of genuine, lasting happiness.
It is absolutely within our power to make every situation, decision, and journey that we take an enlightening one. Here are some of the best practices that can help us do that:
Be present.
Accept all your feelings about your current situation, because what you feel is valid. Self-discovery and self-acceptance are key transformative qualities that require time and effort, but reward you with introspection and honesty to appreciate what you have in this moment.
The feeling of happiness begins with where you are, not where you want to be. “Most of our happiness is not determined by our genetics, but by our experiences and our day-to-day lives.” 1
Be grateful.
Find peace and joy in small events and ordinary everyday activities. Create a gratitude list, embrace and reconnect with relationships you currently have, and think of the good in your life. Think hard, it is there. It’s easy to overlook the beauty in the present moment!
Be of service.
Transition your focus to your family, friends, and peers. Bring in groceries for a neighbor, make eye contact when walking or take personal time to visit family. You can recognize the common human spirit in every person you meet, right in your neighborhood. This may elevate your thinking and illuminate your introspection. “Pursuing happiness through social means (i.e. spending more time with family and friends) is more likely to be effective than other methods.” 2
Take the initial step to open your mind to happiness at this very moment and begin to see the effects it can have on your family, your friends and your own self-worth and self-esteem. Regardless of your current life situation, there is always something to appreciate in what you currently have accomplished and are on the path to achieve.
- Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. & Schkade, D. (2005) Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change. Rev Gen Psychol, 9(2); 111–131. DOI: 10.1037/1089–2680.9.2.111
- Rohrer, J., Richter, D., Brümmer, M., Wagner, G., Schmukle, S. (2018) Successfully Striving for Happiness: Socially Engaged Pursuits Predict Increases in Life Satisfaction. Psychol. Sci, 29(8); 1291–1298. DOI
